The Door
by chickenwriter
Summary: The day after Clarisse and Joe left the Independence Day Ball together. Slightly sweet, slightly angsty.
1. Chapter 1

The door was solid oak. It was painted and gold leafed with a beautiful Moroccan pattern. There were rose inlays all around it. Yet to him, at this moment, it was the ugliest barrier.

_One, two, three…_

Joseph took a deep breath, taking his hand off the door in frustration. There was no way he could do this.

_One, two, three…_

He sighed and inhaled sharply, placing his hands on his hips. He looked like he had just run 10 miles. His nerves were all on edge.

_It's just a door. _

But it wasn't just a door. It was the door to the Queen's bedchambers. The door to her. And after last night, all he could think about was touching her again. His fingers burned into his clenched fists.

_Just knock, man! _

He raised his hand again, and put his palm against the wood. He was unsure if he'd ever get the courage to knock. But he had to know what she thought. He had to know what last night meant. He had to know if she was okay.

Joseph had convinced Charlotte that he needed to go over some security briefs with the queen before they left America. As they only had a few hours, it would only make sense for Joseph to wake her instead of Charlotte. Being easily persuaded, Charlotte had agreed. Joseph was set to wake her at 8:30am. The queen was usually awake and ready at 6am, but Joseph was sure she'd sleep in today.

Joseph heard voices in the distance. It was now or never. It's possible that he would not get to speak to her for weeks if he didn't knock now. He had to speak to her. The taste of her was still on his lips.

Before he could complete his knocking, she opened the door.

"Charlotte, I need a few min…Joseph?" She closed the door and leaned against it. Her eyes widened. What was he doing here? Clarisse wasn't ready to face him after last night. She could still feel his hand on the small of her back, leading her to her room. This room.

"Your majesty, please…" Joseph whispered, pleading with her through the oak of the door. After a minute, it opened again.

"Joseph, I'm sorry…of course, come in" She softly pulled the door broad enough for him to pass. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "Before we talk, might I ask why you are here so early?"

"Yes, your majesty…"

"Clarisse," she corrected. Anyone who had kissed her should be allowed to call her by her name.

"Yes, _Clarisse._ I told Charlotte I needed to speak with you about security measures for our trip home" He watched her as she sat on the couch. Her nightgown was covered with a silk coat that hung down to her ankles. Her hair was slightly off center. She was wearing no make-up. She was beautiful. Joseph bit his lip as she crossed her legs.

"And…do you?" she asked, hoping that wasn't the reason he had come back to her.

"No, ma'am. I lied." He grinned at her, remembering that the last time he had done that, his hands had roamed her body.

Clarisse chuckled softly and patted the seat next to her on the couch. Joseph dove for the spot as if she would retract her offer if he didn't move quickly enough.

"So this is about yesterday?" Her heart was in her throat.

_She pulled her lips away from his cheek like pulling off a band-aid, slowly and then suddenly. His hands came up to her shoulders and stroked around her back, searching and discovering. Then their lips met fully. Their first kiss was tender and hasty. _

"Yes, Clarisse." He closed his eyes, waiting for her response.

_Her heavy breath made her chest rise and fall. He kissed her again, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth. She sighed softly. It had been so long since anyone kissed her._

"I'm not sure what you want to talk about" She blinked heavily and then kept her eyes closed, remembering all that had happened after the Independence Day Ball.

_They kissed each other all the way through the door and out onto the balcony. Slow, long kisses that drove her crazy. The fresh air only served to make him hungrier. He was finally touching her, and he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to stop. _

Clarisse kept her eyes tightly closed. She couldn't look at him. Joseph moved closer to her on the couch and began to whisper in her ear.

_She pulled his shirt loose from his belted suit pants as she felt him untying the bow at the side of the dress. Joseph leaned down and kissed the trail of skin exposed by the dress coming undone. Clarisse moaned softly as she worked on the buttons down his front. _

"Us, Clarisse. I want to know if there is an us" He said as he saw a tear forming at the corner of her eye. He reached for her hand, but she moved it away.

"Joseph…" she breathed. Could anything come from what had happened? Did she want something to come from it?

_He grasped the tops of her arms and pushed her gently up against the wall of the consulate. He told her how gorgeous she was as he pulled her dress down to her hips. Her eyes were squeezed shut. She was all at once captivated and terrified. _

"Clarisse. This is all up to you" He stood up, as if to leave.

"Please stay with me" She nearly begged, reaching her hand up to him.

_Her hand stroked his neck and back, feeling the ripple of muscle and the rise and fall as he kissed her collarbone, her neck, her breasts. She leaned into his kisses as she stroked him. _

She wouldn't let go of him now. She was holding fast to the hand that had touched her so intimately just 12 hours before.

_Her legs were shaking as she pulled him closer and kissed him full on the mouth. The gentle breeze caressed their bare skin. She had never felt this way before this moment._

He remembered how they had kissed so passionately the night before, how she tasted like champagne and how her warm breath moved over his bare chest.

_Her hands raked across his front and down to his belt. She trembled as she started to undo the buckle. His eyes met hers, seeking and questioning. She nodded. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. _

Clarisse ran her other hand over her leg, staring out the window, looking for answers. Joseph joined her once again on the couch and squeezed her hand.

"Clarisse" he said softly, trying to pull her out of her thoughts, "what are you thinking?"

_She ached to be with him as intimately as possible. All of the feelings that she had for him were flooding out of her at once. She stepped out of her gown to reveal what she was wearing underneath. Joseph sank to his knees and kissed her stomach softly. He wanted to ravish her and show her how much he loved her. _

Clarisse let the tear fall from her eye. "It's too complicated, Joseph."

"I'm willing to wait for an answer, Clarisse" He said bringing her hand to his mouth and planting a kiss on her palm.

"Don't…" she sighed half-heartedly. She knew she should stop him, but she hadn't when it had really mattered.

_His hands stroked her thighs, and she gasped as his fingertips ran over her. He could feel the silk of her lingerie, warm under his hands. Neither cared about their less than private location. Clarisse just wanted him to take her away from all of her duties and problems. Joseph had loved her for so long that he couldn't spend long enough worshipping her. _

"Okay," he said, "do you want me to go?"

"No!" she nearly shouted at him. "I don't know what I want." That had been abundantly clear to Joseph from the first day they met. The queen was never sure about her own feelings.

_She hadn't protested a single thing that evening. She pressed against him and they moved together as they made love. They were quiet, but fervent. Everything was happening all at once. _

"I do," he said.

"You do what?"

_She couldn't keep hold of her wits as he loved her. Joseph lived for the tiny sounds escaping her lips. He knew she was embarrassed, and he wanted to tell her that she was allowed to enjoy this, she deserved pleasure._

"I know what I want," he said, stroking the back of her hand.

_Joseph collapsed against her as she began to cry. He pulled her in and they sank to the ground, the concrete cold beneath them. He whispered sweetly to her as her sniffles turned to sobs. Joseph felt tears in his own eyes. They had been lonely so long. He stroked her hair until they both fell asleep. _

"I know you do. I know," Clarisse fell into his arms and he held her close, "I know."

Joseph placed a hand beneath her chin and met her eyes.

"You know it's always been you, Clarisse," he whispered as he kissed her sweetly on the lips.

"What?" She looked at him, doe-eyed.

"I'll wait forever. I've loved you for 30 years"

"Joseph…" she breathed, "you love me?"

"Forgive me, your majesty, but you're blind if you never saw how much I adore and love you."

"Oh Joseph…I…"

"Clarisse Renaldi. I. Love. You. Forever," he punctuated his words with kisses.

"I can't…" she started to cry, "no…I mean…I love you, too." The words stung her throat as they came out though she'd never meant them more than right now. "It's just…"

"Clarisse…" he cautioned. He wanted to savor this moment without the speech about duty and responsibility. He never wanted 'Her Majesty,' he wanted Clarisse. "Clarisse, I know you have your duties as queen, and that those are the most important things to you, and I do not intend to stand in your way." She stopped him with a kiss. He ran his hands through her hair.

"It's not that. It's not the monarchy" she looked away. "No one has ever loved me before. I'm terrified. Oh, this emotional mess isn't me, Joseph, I'm sorry."

"Clarisse, plenty of people have loved you, my dear," he turned her face to him again, "I have always loved you."

"All right. But no one has ever been IN love with me. Not like you…They way that you treated me last night…I'm still trembling," she blushed.

"Ah, is this what you want to talk about?" Joseph leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss, traveling down to her neck. She chuckled and pushed him away.

"Mmmm…yes, but no, Joseph" she stood up and walked across the room, "perhaps we could, start over…take this more slowly." He nodded.

"Clarrise? Do you regret it?" He asked, trying desperately to push the hurt out of his voice.

"Regret is a strong word, Joseph." She said, moving her hands to smooth her nightgown.

"I see…" Joseph stood up. "I'll be going now, Clarisse. You need to get ready to leave."

"Joseph?" She called after him frantically. "I don't regret it. You have to know that. I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

"_Clarisse" Joseph sighed her name and ran his hands over her breasts. "My Clarisse…you are so beautiful."_

_Clarisse pulled him to her for a kiss and moaned into his mouth. "Joseph…oh yes…" _

Clarisse awoke with a start. She sighed and ran her hands down her body as she felt him do in her dream. The morning light filtered through the windows as she threw the covers back.

"Good morning, Maurice. It seems like a lovely day." Clarisse spoke to her dog in a sing-song voice. She moved around the room, looking through her closet for something to wear. It had been two weeks since she last saw Joseph. Her Joseph. She wanted him next to her for all eternity, but it wasn't time yet. She couldn't be so selfish, not when Mia needed her more and more each day. Clarisse talked on the phone to her granddaughter once a week, in order to go over things she might have missed while in America.

She hadn't spoken to him at all. He was in America, staying with Mia and making sure everything was falling into place in her new life. Clarisse had woken every day from a dream that made her entire body flush with warmth. She felt his hands on her as clearly as if it were happening. Those hands distracted her throughout the day. Others wondered why the queen seemed to be spacing out at all hours. Meetings were difficult to get through without imagining his lips on her neck. 

Joseph sat more than anything else. Mia was at school, and he would sit around the consulate, moping about his current job. There was no telling when he would get to return to Genovia, and if he had to guess, he thought it may be until Amelia was able to get away to visit her new country.

The flowers were in full bloom in San Francisco, but Joseph only wondered what they looked like in the Queen's many gardens. He wondered if Clarisse had moved on past that night, or if she could still feel him inside her like he could. He closed his eyes and thought of her face.

"Clarisse, when will I get to see you?" He opened his eyes to find himself in the empty ballroom where they had danced. He remembered the feel of her skin under his hands. She was warm, soft, and better than he had ever imagined. Sometimes he wished that his attraction to her was purely physical. It would have subsided when he finally got to touch her. Instead, touching her unlocked every emotion that he felt for her over the last 30 years. Even if he never got to touch her again, he would be happy sitting next to her.

Clarisse sat through yet another meeting with her fingertips burning. Her heart felt heavy. It had been 3 weeks. Every day that ticked by made her feel worse without him. She teetered between anger and sadness. She was sad that he wasn't there with her, and angry that she ever felt sad in the first place. She was made to be alone. She ran an entire country without a man by her side. But the minute that he had kissed her, she became weak. She hated dealing with this side of herself…she wanted to be stronger, strong enough to be alone.

She knew she was a good monarch for her country. She'd been bred her entire life to be queen. Promised at birth to Rupert, she had never known anything else. But, she never had been happy in her personal life, until that moment on the balcony. Until he moved into her and made her feel complete. Until Joseph treated her as a woman rather than a contract.

Her fingers came up to her lips until the prime minister spoke and took her out of her less than pure thoughts.

Joseph rubbed his neck inside the limo. He was frustrated in many ways. The most frustrating was being without Clarisse, but it was equally as infuriating to be driving around a teenage girl instead of protecting the queen. He loved Mia, but she didn't need him like Clarisse did. He worked so hard to be the head of security. He felt demoted and depressed being in America.

"Princess, good afternoon" he said, opening the door for her, "Miss Lily, how was your day?" The teenagers prattled on, as Joseph pretended to listen and drove the familiar route from the school, to Lily's house, to Mia's home with Helen. Helen invited him in as usual. Joseph refused politely, and told Mia he'd be by in the morning to take her to school. Joseph, thankfully, wasn't responsible for 24 hour care. The queen had hired a new security officer to take the shift from the time Mia came home from school until she left in the morning. Joseph silently thanked Clarisse for that every day.

Joseph drove back to the consulate on autopilot. He couldn't think of anything beside her. If it wasn't a memory or a fantasy, her name just repeated in his mind over and over and over. Most of the time, he remembered the drape of her dress at the Independence Day Ball. He remembered dancing with her in front of everyone. He remembered his nervous laughter as he joked that they should have gone out onto the balcony before Mia. He remembered the silk of her gloves and he led her down the halls of the consulate.

Clarisse remembered him dismissing the guards. She remembered her heart pounding, nearly escaping her chest. She wanted him, but she knew she should just kiss him goodnight and move on. She'd avoided kissing him for so long. He had, surprisingly, never tried to kiss her before. He was gentle and patient.

_When they reached her door, he was quick to bow and begin to walk away. Clarisse chuckled and invited him in. He practically dove for the door handle and went into her suite._

"_Joseph," she purred, "would you care for a glass of wine?"_

"_Your majesty, I shouldn't be here. I have to go" he tried to walk past her, and she stopped him with the tips of her gloved fingers. _

"_Please stay. I would love to drink a glass of wine with you" Clarisse said, gesturing toward the couch. _

"_All right," Joseph breathed, trying to calm his nerves. _

"_Are you shaking?" she sounded genuinely concerned. Joseph shook his head. _

"_I'm sorry, your majesty, it's just…" he walked over to her, and looked her in the eyes. _

"_Just…?" she asked, stepping closer. _

"_You are incredibly beautiful," he daringly put his hand up on her cheek. _

"_I…oh…" she leaned in and kissed his cheek softly. _

That was what had started it all. She spiraled out of control then. Certainly she had been called beautiful before, but never by someone she knew so well.

_She pulled her lips away from his cheek like pulling off a band-aid, slowly and then suddenly. His hands came up to her shoulders and stroked around her back, searching and discovering. Then their lips met fully. Their first kiss was tender and hasty. _

_He tucked hair behind her ear as she sighed into his open mouth. She melted into him, letting go for the first time in a long time. He took charge then, leading her around the room and down onto the couch. They tripped over pillows and furniture on the way, and giggled into each other. This is what they had longed for. _

_Joseph leaned his queen against the back of the couch and nibbled at her lip. Her tongue gingerly poked out and entered his mouth. He smiled against her, surprised at how excited she seemed to be about his love. Joseph could feel himself becoming more and more aroused. Clarisse felt an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach. Joseph whispered into her ear. "Darling, how about the balcony?" She nodded her consent and he helped her to stand up. _

_They kissed each other all the way through the door and out onto the balcony. Slow, long kisses that drove her crazy. The fresh air only served to make him hungrier. He was finally touching her, and he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to stop. _

Joseph remembered every taste of her from that night. Nothing he did could erase the sweetness.

_All he wanted was to be closer to her. He pushed back her dress and kissed the exposed skin of her shoulders. He traced her collarbone with his tongue, and she gasped as his lips latched onto her neck. "Joseph," she whispered breathily, "can't they see us?" _

"_Your majesty, everyone is inside. We're safe out here"_

"_I have no doubt that I am safe with you" Joseph lifted her off the ground slightly to face her body in the other direction. _

"_Look out into your garden, your majesty," he said, stepping back a little. She pulled him into her again. _

"_Joseph, please, Clarisse. I doubt formalities apply when you're kissing me" she smiled as he dived in again to kiss her. _

"_Clarisse, I can't believe you're kissing me. I can't believe I'm kissing you. I can't believe you're real" He sealed his lips onto hers and pulled her as close as possible. _

_She pushed him back, "I want to look at you, Joseph. I want you to look at me," she stood, haloed by the light. He grinned at her, seeing the red forming around her lips where he had kissed her too hastily. "What?" _

"_Your lips are all red, Clarisse. I'm afraid I've left my mark" Clarisse smiled. _

"_Would you like to leave a few more?" she choked out. _

"_Your majesty? Are you flirting with me?"_

"_Queens never flirt. We are very direct…" Joseph wrapped his arms around her. "Kiss me, Joseph."_

_She pulled his shirt loose from his belted suit pants as she felt him untying the bow at the side of the dress. Joseph leaned down and kissed the trail of skin exposed by the dress coming undone. Clarisse moaned softly as she worked on the buttons down his front. _

Joseph could feel himself begin to shake as he had that night. He was so nervous around her, and yet he was a mess without her.


End file.
